Another Opinion. More Confusion.

In one way it is nice to know that by the end of the week we will have all the opinions we intend to get. On the other hand, we will have to make our decision. And it isn't getting any easier.

Today we saw the neurosurgeon who works with Dr. Phoenix. When the surgery is done there is one plastic surgeon and one neurosurgeon who work together.

The neurosurgeon looked at the CT scan that we brought. She first said that she thought there was enough room. Then she started showing the scan to us and explaining what we were looking at. For the most part she showed us that there was fluid in all the places there should be, not too much and not too little. Except for the front. She said that when someone is lying down their brain settles toward the back of their head and there should be fluid visible in the front, which there was not. She said that was a sign that her brain was pretty tight there.

She wasn't at all concerned about the soft spot and said that could be closing already anyway. She was, however, concerned about the size of Claire's head. She didn't think there was any obvious areas where Claire's skull was compensating. She then measured our heads to try to determine what Claire's potential should be. I have always thought Kyle has a small head because I can wear his fitted sports hats. Sure enough we measured at exactly the same size but the joke's on me because his was 50% and mine was 75%. So apparently he is completely average and I have a big head! Anyway, that told her that we would expect Claire's head to be bigger. Further evidenced by the fact that her height and weight have always been in that 50-75% range.

The doctor said that the problem is that everything is fine now but we have no way to look into the future and determine whether this will become a problem. Her concern is that the small size of Claire's head could mean that her brain could run out of room and if we wait until there is a problem then damage could already be done.

So we're stuck in the same place. If we do it, there are risks, which scare us a lot. A Lot. And she is fine right now. We keep looking at her and just thinking that she is perfect. It is hard to go through with an operation that she doesn't need now, and would possibly never need.

But what if she does need it down the road and we should have done it?

So we're still feeling a bit stuck. I guess if we are honest we really feel like we should do it but we are just very scared. We also think it is unlikely that Dr. Dallas will change his mind and he will say that she doesn't need it. So how do we go ahead with it if we have three doctors saying she doesn't need it (Dr. Mesa and his neurosurgeon and Dr Dallas) and two doctors saying she does. Our opinions are conflicting and so are our feelings.

So I guess that's where we are. We'll be leaving for Dallas on Thursday and the appointment is on Friday. I am not sure whether I will be able to update until we get back. But we'll let you all know what we find out. I hope I made sense here because I am sick and my brain is in such a fog. Kyle has been sick too so hopefully we are all well for this trip.